iLove

Okay, I have a confession....

I'm dating my iPhone.  No, seriously.  I spend more time with my iPhone that I did with my last boyfriend.  My iPhone has a way better sleeping schedule, one tailored to mine.  Plus, I have to say my iPhone has way better musical taste, it never forces me to listen to Audioslave and favors Jack's Mannequin.  That's aways a plus in my book!  It's a good thing the two never overlapped, my preference is clear.  iPhone all the way!  YES!  The love is that serious.

The only bad thing about dating my iPhone is the fact that it doesn't have a job & won't pay for my steak dinner.  Nor does it kill bugs or do oil changes.  RUDE!  But I guess you can't have everything.  Though I'd pretty much kill for a steak right now.  Yeah, and maybe a trip to the Olive Garden for some YUMMY soup & salad (all you can eat style!).  So I'm obviously hungry & craving some things, sorry about that.

So my cat has a girlfriend, I'm dating my iPhone and I don't even have a real life human man to strike up a mild flirtation with.  I'm sure the the first two parts of my statement have a little to do with the last part but come on.  What's a girl gotta do around here to get a date?? 

I know I'm not hanging out in bars or clubs but that never got me dates in the past.  I don't go to bars or clubs for that reason. I go to hang with my friends and have fun with my friends, not gain the attention of some sleazy club Casanova. 

Heh.  Maybe my last paragraph explains it all.  I'm a snob.  A closed off, unapproachable snob.  I automatically judge every guy who approaches me as some sleazoid or creep.  Someones got to find that cute, right?  I must say that most of the guys are sleazoid's and creepy ones to boot, but that leaves that small percentage that is not.  That small percentage that I never give a chance because I've been so overfed on sleazoid that I can't see anything else. 

Have I met my Mr. Darcy and chased him off or discarded him somewhere along the way?   I've had my fair share of Daniel Cleaver's, so much so, that I'm not sure I could pick a Mr. Darcy out of the lot.  The time for my storybook romance has come and gone but that doesn't mean I don't want my own version of Mr. Darcy to share my time & interests with.  Finding that version, my version of Mr. Darcy is the reason for all of today's ramblings. 

How do I find the Kerri version of Mr. Darcy?  How do I even put myself out there to find him?  Thoughts, suggestions or introductions would be greatly appreciated at this point.

Momma Deb (BFF's mom) is afraid that all my cat talk & cat photo postings on Facebook is going to cement my reputation as THE CRAZY CAT LADY.  God love her for it! but the truth is that I have been and always will be THE CRAZY CAT LADY.  It just is what it is and I've had that rep since the moment I got Parker (at 16).  That means for 17 years people have been teasing me about being THE CRAZY CAT LADY.  Besides, there's no one on my FB flist that doesn't already regard me as THE CRAZY CAT LADY or who is dateable.  So, sorry folks but all of you who are my FB friends you are stuck with the awesomeness that is all of my cat posts. 

Sommer & Karie are convinced that I need to start on-line dating.  I think they need to shut their pie holes until they themselves have on-line dated.  How can they cheerleader something they've never done??  It's easy to say "Oh, that's something I'd totally do" until they are actually in the position to be able to on-line date.   I'd like to hear their willingness & readiness for on-line dating then!

 I've heard all the success stories...mostly the ones about that friend of a friend or the sister of a guy who knows a guy.  I've, also, heard all the horror stories.  Experienced a lot of them second hand through actual friends.  Yes, there are on-line dating successes but that percentage is minimal.  Minut even.  I am not convinced that is the route for me. 

I think I'm  way too shy to work that avenue successfully.  Besides I'm a snob, remember.  I see most guys profiles on dating sites and automatically think they're trolling for their next victim or sexual conquest.  The thought that they could be just like me with the same reasoning's is inconceivable.

I tried speed dating once.  Once was enough.  The adventure was an epic FAIL.  Besides, the amount of time given to chat with someone is just enough time to highlight my most awkward moments.  It takes me a while to get all that awkwardness out of the way.  You know, so more awkwardness can show itself but in a more cute & adorable way.

So what am I missing?  I'm not a coffee drinker, at least not in the true sense, so a meet cute in a coffee shop is sort of out of the question.  I tried picking up a guy (kid, turns out he was barely legal) in a book store (okay, it was more like a comic book geek who worked in a comic book store), another EPIC FAIL.  I've pretty much dated all the "dateable" people my my friends families (and mine). 

So where else could I possible go to meet someone?  Again,
thoughts, suggestions or introductions would be greatly appreciated at this point. 

Thank you and have a nice weekend!