Obsession(s)

I keep trying to start this by saying "My current obsessions are..." but that makes it sorta sound like my obsessions are relatively new or something that could possibly pass soon and that's not the case. My obsessions are, for the most part, long standing ones I've had for at least 6 months but mostly have been going on for years.

Anytime I see a wooden birdhouse or cute little bird nicknack's I've got to buy it/them. I went to Kirkland's last week and came home with 3 new birds. One was a bird on a maple leaf dish that is exact to one I've been coveting from Urban Outfitters (but couldn't get because they were out of stock) and it was only $2.99. All I have to say is... take that UO!! The other was a bird shaped lamp that's perfect for a night light in the living room for late night returns, no more tripping over cats while trying to find the light switch. The last bird I bought was a ceramic totem shaped bird on a ball that I threw up on the top of the kitchen cabinets to fill in some space with the birdhouses & plants up there. Any time I go to Michael's or Hobby Lobby I end up with a birdhouse or some bird of sorts to fill in some space somewhere.

The bird obsession has slowly made its way into the artwork I like and is starting to trickle down to jewelry. I've found a little shop on Etsy, called Studio Enrouge, and it's my goal to get an original painting from her. I've had to satisfy myself with some prints of paintings I missed out on. I have at least 3 more prints I want to get. Etsy is, depending on how you want to look at it, either becoming a problem or is my new bird heaven because it's the easiest thing to find the cutest bird themed stuff on there. I have some jewelry I'm just dying to get. There's just so many possibilities on there I get a bit giddy thinking about it.

It's not just bird jewelry I'm obsessed with. I love all kinds of jewelry! Some days I pick my outfit by what necklace, earrings or bracelet I want to wear. I can't go to Target without at least looking at the jewelry counter. I've even started switching out rings, which is new. I always wore a ring until it broke, didn't fit anymore or was lost somehow. Now I'm wishing I had more so I could switch out every ring on every finger I wear one on but it's hard because that's a lot of sizes to shop for...though I do feel I'm up for the challenge.


For a long time I just stuck to my Cookie Le jewelry and was constantly wearing my abalone/mother of pearl jewelry. It worked because it went with a lot of colors but some days I want bolder colors or more flash so I had to update my selection. I love finding jewelry in unexpected places because you find cooler designs than in the usual places. Take the shop(s) at the SL, UT airport (I have a souvenir shirt from UT with SL,UT written across the front and Salt Lake, UT written in smaller print down the side. Majorly fun to wear in UT & see the looks you get), I found some sweet jewelry. Luckily the necklace I found is also available on-line since there's only one store in Glendale, AZ that sells them at this point. You buy a pendant in the shape & color you want and then can pick from hundreds of magnetic pieces that fit into the pendant...giving you a new necklace whenever you want. It's easy to switch the chains out too so you can have a zillion different looks. The shops have more selections than the on-line store but I'm sure it's a rotation thing and just have to keep on top for new designs. Shopping on-line has been great too to find stuff you don't normally see or don't have access to in the local shops. I guess that goes back to one of the reason's why I love Etsy so much.

The idea of getting a tattoo has been a non-stop thought for the past few months. I have two that I know I want for sure but the idea of a third one is hovering out there as well. Karie & I have had the idea of getting a matching BFF tattoo forever now. The idea started as something to do to celebrate our 20th anniversary as best friends but that date passed a couple years ago. My aversion to needles prohibited us from moving forward with the idea. Plus, we've been stuck on what to get. We had an idea for a while but could never figure out how to execute it. Now we have another idea but we're still stuck on figuring out how to make it work. We want something that is totally us as a whole & individually. Not as easy as one would think.

I, also, want to get a tattoo of some Jimmy Eat World lyrics. They popped out to me as a great tattoo idea the first time I heard them and that was over a year ago. I'm not sure if I want them flowing into a heart or if I just want them in "natural" word form. It all depends on placement and I don't feel I can figure that out until Karie & I decide on what & where we want our tattoo. There's only a few places I'm willing to put a tattoo... my foot, the inside of my wrist and my back. If I only get one tattoo I want it where I can see it but if I have two or more I'm willing to have one someplace I can't see. No matter where I get one I want the placement to be easy to cover up if needed.


I'm really scared that the foot will hurt or freak me out too much to sit still through since I get pretty squirrely when my feet are being messed with. The foot and wrist are my two top places. A bit stupid for someone so scared of freaking out during a tattoo since they can both be pretty painful places. I think my pain tolerance is pretty high and from what I've heard tattooing feels like I think I'll be fine but when you add in my irrational fear of needles it's really up in the air as to how I'll react. I can see me getting so squirrely at just the thought of NEEDLES that they won't even be able to start the tattoo, let alone finish it. Really the whole needle thing is the whole reason I've held out so long on getting a tattoo in the first place. I've thought about getting one since high school but just couldn't get over the whole needle thing.


My fear of needles is so irrational that just retyping the word is making me feel funny. A few years ago I was riding around with some friends and they started talking about tattoos, botox and lipo-dissolve and comparing what the needles felt like in comparison. Since I wasn't all that interested in the cosmetic part of the conversation and didn't have any experience in any of it, I was only half listening to the the conversation, having nothing to add and damn if I didn't start feeling light headed, getting sweaty palms, and having my cheeks go numb & drooly. I must have said something or made some noise because one of my friends looked back at me and said something like, "Kerri, you are totally white! Are you going to pass out?!" I ended up having to put my head between my knees so I wouldn't pass out. While they both felt bad about their needle talk almost taking me out, I did have to endure some teasing for a while about it. The funny thing about it all is I've gone with two different friends and watched them get tattoos. As long as I avoided thinking about the needle or seeing it before it had ink on it I was fine. I just have a hard time applying that kind of thinking to myself.


At this point getting a tattoo is a way of overcoming my stupid fear...or at least looking it in the eye and staring it down. I don't want it to rule my life or make me miss out on stuff I want to do. I, also, have a goal of giving blood before the year is over. That kind of needle makes me super nervous and can turn me bloodless in 2 seconds flat if I see one before I have blood taken. I've scared a few lab techs by not speaking up quickly enough so they can keep it out of sight before I'm ready.

I'm not sure if my biological clock has something to do with it or if it's just the fact that Parker is getting up there in years but I really want a kitten. The realization that both my cats are aging is a scary one. I'm not as worried about Cyrus since he's only 10 but Parker is 16 and really starting to slow down. She's still in good health but her hearing, eye sight and joints just don't work like they used to. I swore after getting Cyrus at 6 weeks old I'd never get another kitten again, I'd buy a full grown cat instead. He was a great kitten and didn't give me any problems. He was trained when we got him or self taught himself about the litter box, not clawing anything but cat scratches and he never jumped up on places he wasn't supposed to. He was just so damn full of energy and little kitten hell that I swore the adorableness of all things kittens wasn't worth it.


Now, after seeing Will's sister, Chelsey's, two kittens grow up these last few months I want one. Kitten hell, bad habbits, and their trouble making has not changed this need I have. Maggie & Itty are MONSTERS...little demon kitties and I love them to death!!


I tried to rescue what I thought was a lost little kitten and was using my chicken chili to lure him in. It was all I had at the time and finally changed to wet cat food when the opportunity presented itself. I don't really want 3 cats at the same time, especially while living in an apartment but sometimes the want outweighs all else, like being smart & responsible. While the kitten was a stray, he's not lost. He's part of the apartment's stray cat club and he has a full litter of siblings. Honestly, part of me wants to rescue them all but I don't have the room, money or resource to find them homes. Unfortunately, it's going to have to be someone else's responsibility this time around. Part of the problem may be that this is the first time in 9 years that I haven't had a stray cat to take care of and unofficially adopt.

Speaking of biological clock ticking...there must be something in the water. It seems like every other person I see or know is pregnant. First it was engagements and/or weddings and now it's babies. Every time I have to go buy baby presents I get all mushy inside and decide I do want one. Luckily, once I hang out around little kids I change my mind. Most of the time. This feeling hasn't been this bad before and the only thing I can attribute it to is the fact that I'll be 35 in a few years and that's the end of the road date for me. If I don't have kids before 35, I don't think I want any. I know it's still possible but I just don't know if I can do it. I don't know if babies is an official obsession but I think it's definitely has potential to become one. Who ever thought I'd be on the road to becoming that person?!

For the second time in my life the thought of moving has been like a wild fire in my brain. The first time I was in a deep rut and looking for a way out. No motivation and being talked out of it changed my mind but the thought has stayed in the back of my mind. The last few years the idea of moving out of AZ has been rattling around in my mind for the first time. Before that the thought of moving out of AZ and not living here was something my brain couldn't compute. I love AZ, scorching summers and all. If I ever had a fleeting thought at living someplace at all, it was only for a year... like I thought I'd like to move to Virginia for a year to experience the East Coast and a full 4 seasons. The thought of staying longer wasn't an option.


Right now, as it stands today, I'd move up to UT tomorrow if I had it all worked out. Most of my family is up there so I'd have a large support system. While the "politics" (ie. Mormonism) of living in UT don't excite me much, I know it's something I could live with. I just love how nothing is mapped out and on grid like it is here. Farm land, rural areas & the city all blend together into some strange & whimsical landscape. There is so many colors and greenness all over it almost blinds someone who isn't used to it. There are wild animals running around in neighborhoods. I mean, I saw an antelope while sitting in a bakery in the shopping center next to my sister, Beth's, neighborhood. He was running along the road across the street on some farmland. I'd like to see a sight like that in East Mesa. There are pheasants in the land next to my sister, Sherri's, house. Deer, fox, rabbits and all other critters are just all over the place where ever you go up there. To some that's not impressive but to me that is just so freaking awesome. The thought of putting up a squirrel feeder in my backyard would be the coolest thing to me. SQUIRRELS! IN MY BACK YARD. Anyone who knows me knows the prospect of that would tickle me pink.


I'd love to be closer to my family that lives up there. I've never really had that much family living around me at one time. There are a few of us here but the group up in UT is almost overwhelming. Of course, I'd totally miss the family I have here. They've been the family members I've grown up with and who have always been my core family unit. Though, I'm sure my sister Georgie would move up there in a heartbeat! Well, maybe not since Nick's kids are down here.


I guess I sometimes want something new and adventurous. What's more new and adventurous than moving out of state? Especially, a state with snow...something a girl with lizard blood in her veins has never had to deal with. Sadly, Will's not too keen on the idea of moving. He can't really get past the thought of not being by his family. Me, I got hung up on how to get the cats up to UT without killing one, if not both of them. They're so easily stressed with moving and traveling. I can pretty much work everything else out, save for the damn cats. Go figure!

It's been my goal the past two years to see anyone and everyone on my list of favorites music wise. I've missed out on so many great music opportunities and concerts because of my aversion to large crowds. After realizing I could get over my adverson if my want was greater than my fear, I realized large crowds are no problem. It's hard to feel claustrophobic in a large crowd when a great concert is going on. The energy in the crowd is like nothing else I've experienced. Plus, nothing really brings people together like music. Anyone who annoys you in a crowd while waiting for a concert to start can become your best friend while the music is playing and the band/preformer you both love is before you giving you all they have. Experienceing music live is just so exilirating to me. The thrill and excitment I get when I purchase tickets to someone I love is crazy insane. I've described it as being so excited I could pee my pants, like little dogs do when they get super excited. Some understand that feeling, others don't. Its a high like none other I've experienced. Not that I've experienced a lot of different kinds of highs because I'm a good little girl and have not, just in case anyone with mothering tendancies towards me is reading this.


I've basically whiddled down my list of must sees these last two years. Off the top of my head I only have Glen Phillips/Toad the Wet Sprocket, Tristan Prettyman, Dawn Mitschele, Death Cab for Cutie & Matchbox 20 to see. Now I've seen Rob Thomas live and he was awesome! I know a Matchbox concert would be almost the same but I don't care, I've had a 14 year love affair with them. Toad the Wet Sprocket was one of my first concerts (they were with The Lemonheads) but I don't remember it, outside of the fact that I went. Glen Phillips solo music is so different than Toad's I really need to see both but the likelyhood of being able to see a Toad reunion is slim. I've been lucky enough to see Jason Mraz twice but my goal is to see him in a small venue. I've been super lucky to have seen everyone else in concert in small venues (mostly The Marquee Theatre): Gavin Degraw, twice, once at Martini Ranch and you can't get much smaller than that; William Tell (of Something Corporate) twice, once on the ASU campus by myself, I might add; and Andrew McMahon twice, once in Jack's Mannequin & once in Something Corporate. In my opinion, you just don't see preformances like those I've listed put on on an every day basic.






Not really sure why I felt like sharing that or why I'm putting it here instead of my public blocked LJ but there it is anyway.