Getting To Know the "Kitties" Series: Parker

Parker
17 years old
I got her when she was 3 months old.

I couldn't start this series without starting with Parker.  She was the first pet I had that was actually 100% mine.  I got her when I was 16 1/2 years old.  Yes, that 1/2 (or 6 months) is important.  See the only reason I got her was because one of my high school friend's (ex-friend now)  and I decided that for my BFF, Karie's, 16th birthday she needed to have a cat.  It was probably the stupidest idea we ever had (and trust me there was a LOT) but we ran with it.  We got permission from Karie's parents and then we went out and found her the perfect cat.  In the process we also found ourselves the perfect cat.   There were 3 cats left and each one fit what we wanted perfectly.  Parker was mine the moment I set eyes on her. 

The adjustment period once I brought her home was a bit rough.  She wasn't too keen on the dog we had at the time (Tinkerbell) and would terrorize that poor old dog.  She gained the nickname of Houdini because she'd climb the curtains that my grandma had hanging over our windows and sit on the metal rod that they hung from.  We had a piano with a two level shelf above it and a stereo speaker mounted next to (but above) the top shelf.  Nana had all her nicknack's on the shelves and each speaker had a ceramic bird in the middle of them.  Parker would somehow climb her way to the top of the speakers and arrange herself around those damn birds WITHOUT ever knocking anything down.  How she did it I'll never know.  I wish I had a photo I could share to show how difficult it must have been for her.

She's know for dodging out the door the moment you open it.  She books it as far as she thinks is safe and then rolls around on the ground.  She prefers grass and dirt but will take cement if it is all that is available.

She knows when she is in trouble and hides before you even yell at her.  She usually tells on herself before I have a chance to find out whatever it is she has done wrong.

For as long as I can remember Parker has slept with me.  She learned early on that sleeping by my feet was dangerous so she's always been up within touching distance.  For the past 10 years (maybe) she sleeps in the crook of my arm while I lay on my side.  I call it "spooning".  She always gets the outer edge of the bed and I get any space left over from her stretching out from there.

When she was about 2 years old I took her to the vet because she had this increasing habit of peeing OUTSIDE of the litter box.  She's would balance herself on the lip of the box, stick her head inside the box and pee right in front of the box.  The vet suggested I put down some tile as cats don't like peeing on hard surfaces.  When I told him we had tile he diagnosed her with a behavioral problem.  This behavioral problem is one that I've learned to deal with since then.  It comes and goes and usually would pop up when she was unhappy about something (or someone) or if she felt the box was just too dirty to pee in.  Why sticking her head into the too dirty litter box to pee outside of it was better than climbing in & peeing in the dirty part with her head outside in the clean air is something I'll never understand.

Recently (within the last 6 months) her behavioral disorder has changed from peeing outside the litter box to peeing on the carpet right inside the front door.  She now pees on a rubber mud boot mat with puppy pads on it.  She's quite content with the arrangement.  She still uses the litter box for both needs but likes the extra area for peeing. 

If I am on the couch watching TV she is right next to me.  If I am eating on the couch she is perched on the back of the couch right over my right shoulder waiting for a bit.  She never gets one but she always holds out hope.  When I'm doing my make-up she sits/lays next to me the whole time.  When I do my hair she's either on the free sink space or sitting on the toilet.  She's totally a people cat with me.  With other people, especially new people, not so much.  She's still unsure of my niece Beth & will hiss at her when she comes over.  Beth used to torture Parker when she was a little kid by chasing her around & cornering her under my grandma's bed yelling, "Kitty Kitty!  Parker!".  They say cats (animals) don't remember things but I beg to differ.  Parker remembers and holds grudges!

She's always been a very talkative cat.  She responds when you talk to her.  Or will talk to you when she wants your attention.  Over the past couple of years she's mostly lost her voice and everything comes out in a squeak.  It's so dang cute.  She can meow when she wants to and it can still be loud.  I'm not sure what or why her voice changed but it works for her.  I just call her Squeakers sometimes now.

Her most favorite, will steal from you if you are not careful, treat is bread.  Yes, bread.  If you give her a chance she will take your piece of bread and gobble it down in one bite.  She'll pass over a piece of meat for bread in a heartbeat.  I do give her treats of bread every now and then but only if it has no butter or anything on it.

She is the definition of lap cat.  She loves to sit on your lap or will lie on your chest while you are laying down.  I've even woken up with her on my back while I was sleeping on my stomach. 

She purrs like crazy.  Just a look will get her going.  She purrs like a little motor boat.  If you touch her she will purr forever afterwards.  She usually purrs me to sleep each night.

When she was younger she ran out of the door and I didn't realize it until I heard her screech.  I caught her tail in the door.  I've never felt so bad.  The door was fully shut.  With her tail fully in it.  I'm guessing it broke the tail end of her tail as there is a huge cyst on it now.  I think for a while after she had a kink in it but she never acted like it hurt.  At least not after I opened the door and got her tail out of it. 

I think the phrase "Lets go nite-nite" is her favorite.  Whenever I say this to her she squeaks and jumps up to run into the bedroom to her spot on the bed.  She waits for me to climb in before she settles down.

When Parker was a kitten (and up to about 5 years ago) we'd box.  I'd hop around her and bat at her and (swear to God) she'd hop around & hop up and bat at my hands.  We'd box.  I've never be able to get any of the other cats to do this. 

Even though she is 17 years old, all but deaf, has cataracts, can probably see less than she should, and has arthritis she can still put Remington in his place.  She gives him a good ass kicking when he needs it or won't leave her alone.

I named her Parker because of two men I loved back then.  Peter Parker and Parker Lewis.  She's not named after either of them but I ended up loving the name because of them.  If that makes sense.