Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I’m Valentine’s Day Cursed: A Backstory



At least, for the most part.  Luckily this year, nothing bad happened on Valentine’s Day.  My feelings on V-Day are pretty well known but I had a few questions sent my way after I posted this on FB yesterday…

Tonight I am celebrating Single Awareness Day with my nephew (Nick) eating Mexican food & watching Don't Be Afraid of the Dark since we are the only single people we know (who aren't our exes). My request was not going out in the V-DAY mayhem & his was watching "something bloody". Done & done. Also, I don't want to jinx anything but so far nothing bad has happened on Valentine's Day. *KNOCKS ON WOOD* There is still 7 hours left so it could turn but I'm being hopeful. *KNOCKS ON WOOD AGAIN*

Probably the only motto I have is, “Something bad always happens on Valentine’s day.”  It may be a slight overstatement or exaggeration but for me a fairly accurate statement.  V-Day to me is what Friday the 13th is for some people.  Bad Mojo.  Unlucky.  Whatever you want to call it.  I try to keep a good outlook on the day.  I try to make the most of the day.  I don’t hold good Valentine’s Day’s against anyone else.

Here’s why I feel the way I feel…


I guess it started with my first boyfriend, who told me I made his stomach hurt and left during dinner.  A dinner he had yet to touch, one I painstakingly cooked myself and had a candlelit dinner set up in my room for (with my grandma’s permission of course).  It was our first V-Day, I was 17.

Then at 23, Valentine’s Day was the day I absolutely knew my husband (at the time) was cheating on me.  I was deathly sick (back then I’d get sinus infections that put me flat on my back for a week) that day and stayed home from work.  The EX-Husband worked nights and so he didn’t know.  When he got home, several hours late, he was all pissed because I was home.  Then we got into a huge fight because he felt like if I was home I should have been doing something productive like being outside pulling weeds.  We got into such a huge fight about it that I dragged myself off the couch and sort of draped myself on the sidewalk outside and started trying to pull the damn weeds.  He mysteriously disappeared for a few more hours after that (and did not help pull weeds) but when he got back I totally ended up catching him in a lie.  He had said that he was with his friend G and that he was late getting home from work because he had to go help G with some car issues. He, also, told me he had left the house (mysteriously) because he had to go help G again.  The only thing was...G had called for TE-H while I was out pulling weeds & TE-H was not home. G ended up calling back later in the afternoon when TE-H was back home so before going and passing the phone to him I trapped G into admitting that nothing was wrong with his car and that he hadn’t seen TE-H since the last time he had been over to the house for dinner.  Long story short(er), TE-H left his cell phone out while he as in the shower and his phone kept ringing.  When TE-H got out and went to go get his phone he said G had been calling (I guess to explain why it was ringing the whole time) but I had looked at it and all the calls were not from G’s #.  They were from a chick he worked with, the one I had suspicions of.  Needless to say, the next night was our last together before I asked for a divorce.   It only took that long because TE-H had left for work early V-Day night avoiding the situation that was starting to blow up & then also worked his 12 hour shift.

Then there was the year (late 20’s) two of my girl friends and I got together for a Non-Valentine’s Day V-day and it ended up being the beginning of the end of mine and Friend #1’s association with Friend #2.  Literally, digging my eyes out with a plastic spoon would have been more fun than our “discussion” with Friend #2.  It was hard to look at Friend #2 the same after seeing how hypocritical she was.

I believe it was the next year that I woke up on V-day with a tooth crisis and by the end of the day I had to have a tooth pulled.  That year my V-Day present was Vicodine.   

A year or two after that I had a secret admirer send me flowers (at work) with a note requesting me to meet them at a restaurant for dinner that night.  I had my suspicions but I decided to be brave and went (against my better judgment) and got stood up.  Not that I think I actually got stood up.  I think the whole thing was a sick joke from my (then) internet stalker.  I tried to track down who sent the flowers prior to going but they were ordered on-line so the shop who received them couldn’t tell (supposedly).

Three years ago I was with my ex-boyfriend, Will, and it was our first Valentine’s Day together.  In an attempt to avoid some of the bad mojo and have a really nice date with my guy, I planned a romantic dinner home but with take out.  On our way to pick up our food I jinxed it by saying, “Wow, it’s been almost all day and nothing bad has happened…”   Yeah, about 5 minutes later a duck FROM OUT OF NOWHERE literally walks in front of Will’s truck.  There was no swerving to avoid it as there was a car in the lane next to us.  There was no slamming on the breaks because there was a vehicle right behind us.  There was nothing we could do.  The damn duck could not have timed it any better than he did; we got him square under one of the tires.  Will threw his hand over my face so I wouldn’t see anything (sweet but silly) but he didn’t realize that we would be able to feel the impact and the bump of running over the poor stupid duck.  In a sick way it’s sorta funny when I replay it in my head now but at the time it was traumatizing.  Anyone who knows me knows I. Love. Ducks!  What is really strange is there wasn’t any water (or water places) that the duck could have been heading to, at least not for a mile or so out.  The way the duck was moving was like he was out for a leisurely Sunday stroll.  I have never seen a duck on that road before or after this incident. 

Those are all that easily come to mind right now.  There were more.  Just none that were as traumatic as the ones I listed.  I’m hoping I am in a few year lull but I don’t know. 

I had originally wanted to make plans so that my nephew, myself and a friend of ours had a night exactly like the one my nephew and I ended up having but he (the friend) died before I could ask.  We were to be the 3 Single Amigo’s of Single’s Awareness Day.  His death and the circumstances surrounding it kind of casted a shadow over this year’s V-Day.  This last month has been pretty damn crappy so I’m thinking that maybe Valentine’s Day decided to give me a pass this year because without Nathan it sort of wasn’t a pass at all in a way. 

Nick and I still had fun.  Nothing bad or even slightly crappy happened.  We had good food, watched an entertaining movie, and enjoyed hanging out.  I’m hoping next year will go the same.  And the year after that….

I’ll keep you posted.

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