Disclaimer...the title has nothing to do with the subject of this post. It is what popped into my brain when the question of the title stared back at me waiting for an answer. I find it a bit appropriate because I do not think there is an answer for the poor woodchuck. And if I really admit it, there is no real answer to what it is I ponder today.
Have you ever noticed that as you get older making friends gets harder? It does, right...or is it just me? I've always been shy but even as a PAINFULLY shy child I easily made friends. I think the problem as an adult we have less opportunities to come into contact with people we can connect with. Or we're put into situations where we aren't really in the position to friend those we come into contact with. Plus, not everyone we connect with is someone we can relate to.
My job has me connecting with people on a daily basis but they aren't people I can relate to and even if I did I'm not in a position to befriend them. My motto has always been "I don't date clients but I will client dates". It sounds dirty but it isn't...really. No matter how your mind wanders toward the gutter, I am not a lady of the night. I can modify that to "I don't friend clients but I will client friends". If a situation happens when I do happen to turn a date/friend into a client it tends to eventually get awkward so I usually avoid doing either. Also, not that I am on the market to date. I am happily taken and have been for the past (almost) 2 years.
The bar, club or "normal" social scene for adults isn't necessarily the best place to meet new friends. At least not lasting ones. Or even reliable ones, as past experiences show. Most people in the "night scene" scenarios aren't out looking for new friends anyway. They're out on the prowl or are out to have a good time with the friends they ALREADY have. You might be able to make a momentary friend connection with another girl while waiting in line for the restroom but you aren't going to go grab coffee the next day with each other.
Any new friend I have made as an adult as been introduced to me by family or friends. Family and friends are a reliable source for finding great people but is there another way to make new friends?
Even making friends on-line seems to be a bit harder than one would think. Once you've made a connection it's usually easy to start on-line friendship but it's, also, just as easy to ignore that connection leaving any "real" friendship unmade. We all follow blogs of people we don't know (at least most of us do at some point). Whether it be some "celebrity" blogger like Dooce or the girls at GoFugYourself or just some random person you stumbled upon haphazardly. "Celebrity" bloggers don't leave much in the way of making a two-way friendship. We're still left on the outside in the voyeur position no matter how connected we may end up feeling.
I've found many of the people who do follow blogs tend to follow without actually following. It's a way to get more readers to their blog and that's it for them. No connections are made and most of the time no follow back is made.
I follow blogs for two reasons. One, because I find them interesting and relatable. Two, for the giveaways because hey, who doesn't like to win FREE stuff? I'm not going to lie, I have a lot of blogs I follow just for the giveaways alone but most of those blogs are blogs dedicated to reviews & giveaways only. While it's true I may have found blogs because of giveaways; it is also true that I actually read the ones who are not solely for reviews & giveaways. I stick around to continue to read because I've found some human interest we share. Some personality spark they've left on their blog has caught my eye and I want to find out more.
Those bloggers are the ones I'm never sure how to approach. Do I sit back quietly and just read? Or do I speak up when I have an urge to? I have done both on various blogs. Some bloggers have commented back and more of a connection has been made, which I find awesome. The problem I'm having is what to do from there? Do I just sit back and continue doing what I'm doing...keeping on keeping on, so to speak or do I somehow extend a stronger arm with an olive branch towards friendship?
How does one extend an interest in friendship? In real life the natural course is to ask for some type of outing you'd both enjoy...like meeting for coffee. What is proper etiquette for on-line? Do you revert back to Elementary School and comment something like..."Hey, I like you're blog...wanna be online friends?" What do you do that doesn't leave you feeling like an idiot. Or doesn't leave you completely feeling rejected when they don't respond or they respond but not in the way you were hoping for?
These are the things that run through my brain at night when I am NOT sleeping. I don't know if these ponderings are normal or if the lack of sleep and darkness have something to do with all the insecurities that swirl around in there at night. Whatever it is...it is.
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